The final hitch dropped me at the doorstep of Grampians National Park, as a half full moon lit up the dense cloudy night sky. Keeping up with my solemn vow of not booking a single hostel in Australia and New Zealand, I searched for someplace to bevy for the night. The small mouse spun the wheel in my brain and the wicked nearby plateaued rock cliffs seamed like a sure bet. “No Camping” signs rolled out like tumbleweeds on the well traveled path. I tramped off the main course and shined my high beam down the cliff at the apex of a rock face, reveling my bed for the evening, a rock ledge 25 feet down. As the first few drops of rain fell, I knew that if I didn’t hurry, my climb down on wet rocks would be very sketchy. There was not enough time check it out without a backpack. So, I placed all my chips into the hands of fate and started the dangerous down climb with 35 pounds on my back. Reaching the ledge was quite an easy task, plus it had more than enough space and a cave that receded into the rock about 12 feet. As the rain crashed, I ducked into the cave and into my home for the next few days, I was now a CAVEMAN!
Before breakfast the next day, I instantly stripped down to my undies and started drawing pictures on the rock walls with dirt: Naked wild haired girls ridding bareback on horses grasping snakes in their hands, general outlines of my body, suns, moons, stars, rainclouds, and of course the occasional simple phallus. I ugg’ed when I accidentally dropped my eggs on the rock below and carved a spear in order to hunt wild animals. Before leaving the ledge to gather a map and hike the area; I set up a fall trap with a bit of a snickers bar, some rope, and a very large rock. Pleased at my work I ugg’ed with joy and set off into the wilderness.
Ten years of drought was broken by flooding and heavy rain for the next few days. Torrential thunder storms rolled in every night around 8 drenching my soundings. My perfect shelter of rock began to leak and became a damp swamp, saturating every article I owned. After 3 nights of wetness I decided to fade just like my cave paintings and join my good bud, Aussie Uncle Tom and his Californian raised wife Hannah, in Cambarra (500 miles away) for Christmas.
Saying goodbye to my caveman ways, I stood up strait and embarked into the modern world. Hitch hiking in heavy rain, it only took two days and three awesome rides for me to reach the doorstep of Tom and Hannah, where I had to once again act civilized… or as civilized as a Brad can be.
December 25th, 2007
Howdy ya’ll… Things are going to get interesting. As you can tell by the new graphics on the website; we are being joined by new traveler, Nick Ostini. My old college buddy is meeting us in Thailand to finish the journey. His wacky antics have lead to multiple bleedings, beatings and trouble. Known for his offbeat thinking and semi-debotury, he was the only one crazy enough to let me live in his alley during college in Chico. Upon procuring his tickets he sent out a mass e-mail to his cronies. Here is what it said :
My adventure will not be finished in Italy. I have tasted the sweetness of the world and it has aroused my curiosity as well as my nipples.
I have a good college friend, Brad, who is traveling with another friend of mine, Mark. They are currently making their way around the world. My plan is to meet up with them in Thailand in early February. With much appreciated loans from my parents, thanks again Dad, Mom, Toni, and Mark, this adventure is being made possible. I will be meeting them in Thailand and we will be going to India, Egypt, etc.
You can find more information on this trip at buybradabeer.com. My friend Brad has set up this site so that everyone back home can see where they are, hear stories, see pictures, etc. Coming soon on the site will be a section for me with a little Nick character where I will rant and rave about my adventures abroad. Also on this site is a PayPal area where you can buy Brad a beer. Starting now when you buy Brad a beer, it means you’re buying me a beer and basically helping me fund this trip. Any amount of money is greatly appreciated. I’m coming back into California on the 18th of December. That gives me about a month and a half until I leave again. I’ve decided that during that time I will do anything for money. Consider this like a pledge drive. For certain amounts of money I will perform sexual favors. Here’s the scale:
$50:Makeout
$50-$250:Makeout with groping
$250-$500: Anything goes above the waist
$500-$2,500: Anything goes (non-kinky)
$2,5000 and above: I don’t think you could handle it
If I need to travel in order to perform these favors, call me or send me an email and we can work out the details. (I’m really putting my degree to good use here. I’m sure my parents would be proud. Oh and to my parents, you may not request sexual favors. What do you think I am, a pervert?).
For those of you who aren’t interested in the first option, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t be, I will also be willing to do any sort of design work. If you need a logo or whatever, I’m your man. Or if your friend’s ex-roommates mother-in-law owns a Wedding Chapel/Gas Station and needs some work done, let me know. This may be shameless plugging and a desperate attempt at getting money but frankly I don’t care. I will beg, grovel, etc. in order to make this happen.
Your loyal servant,
Nick Ostini
So, if you would like a sexual favor or a graphic design solution you can contact him at nick@buybradabeer.com. We look forward to having another mate for the adventure. Oh yeah, by the way Mark and I are currently in Australia staying with an ex-exchange student from Ballarat, named Courtney Rowe. Her family have graciously let us into their home to stay for a few days before disembarking for backpacking throughout eastern Australia.
December 15th, 2007
