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The young short haired passionate dreamer that longs to find the “greatest thing ever.” Which consists of a pill, not just any pill, but a small brownish elongated bean like pill that solves the world's problems. Yes that's right, once you swallow this magic product, you FART… but only once... for the rest of your life.
Other notable facts:Everytime Mark sees a lemonade stand he will visit and pay double for the drink. He doesn't stop out of kindness, but because he knows Brad is going to run a competing lemonade stand. In order for Brad to undercut the childhood competition he will offer a larger beverage for the same cost. The only thing Mark doesn't know is by the time he's going to buy a drink, Brad would have already sabotaged the competition by releasing savage sugar weevils. Mark is spending double for Weevil Juice… Bwah Ha Haa. Mark loves children and sees potential in every human being. In his eyes every eager learner deserves a chance to change their life. So he started the Leonhardt Family Scholarship fund. Every year since then Brad has disguised himself as a first year college student with forged exceptional transcripts and references. Currently, Brad has claimed the fund for five years in a row and still farts in the general direction of the poor children's faces when he wins. Mark once drafted a resolution that would have brought lasting peace to the Middle East. After much tedious time spent drafting the documents, they were lost. Only to be found in the sewer soiled beyond all recognition. In no relation to the above-mentioned events, the week prior Brad was out of toilet paper… |
While researching how to save the whales through selective gene splicing, purchasing clothing for orphans on ebay, and bathing 101 stray baby kittens for adoption, he received a call from Mark. “Hey Brad, I'm quitting my 80,000 dollar a year job and traveling the world.” So brad quit his 2,000 dollar a year job and decided to go with him.
Other notable facts:Brad will live longer than you, because he carries a parasite deep within' his colon similar to Giardia. For about 6 months after he was first diagnosed, every 4 days the floodgates of hell would darken the land. He now has permanently soft stools, which the doctor assured him would lead to longer life. Born in “The Cusp of Magic” on June 22, 1983. Yep, that means his astrological sign is Gemini-Cancer with heavy amounts of Cancer. He currently has a crush on a fantastic shy Capricorn with a condition known as vitiligo, which gives her a cool gray streak of hair.... and just so you know, Cancers and Capricorns are polar opposites, yet capable of compatibility because of the Ying-Yang clause. He can live almost anywhere. The last year of college he resided in a 1971 Volkswagen bus parked in an alley. Right before the trip he was living in a 6x6 water heater closet in a wing attached to a bathroom. This place was deemed the Chicken Shack… filled mostly with gay cowboy memorabilia and fly eating plants. Brad's sister has no sense of smell. He claims that he horded all her sense and started priding himself on his wine tasting abilities. Even though, he believes the whole art of wine tasting is crap. It solely depends on the individual tasters mental impression of certain flavors and smells and guess what… everybody is different. |
